


And Why Is That?

by AllyThePotato



Series: And Why Is That? [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Infidelity, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyThePotato/pseuds/AllyThePotato
Summary: "I love you, and I hate myself for that.""Why is that?"
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: And Why Is That? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181036
Comments: 24
Kudos: 39





	And Why Is That?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [backslashdelta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/backslashdelta/gifts).



> Never written one of these before—but I thought I'd give it a go. And holy shit I have opened a fucking door. For Becky.

"I love you, and I hate myself for that," Kurt whispers. Sebastian's lips turn up into the smallest of smiles.

"Why is that?" 

Kurt rolls his eyes, nips Sebastian's shoulder with his lips. "You know why," he says. Sebastian nods, his lips falling into a hard line. "I have to go soon, you know." 

Sebastian looks at the ceiling, nods again. "I know." He blinks, and then closes his eyes. "I don't want you to." He feels Kurt's hand find his under the blankets. A reassuring squeeze. 

"I love you, and I hate myself for that," Kurt repeats, this time he says it against Sebastian's neck, his breath sending shivers down his spine. 

Sebastian smiles again. "And why is that?" He asks again. "Why do you hate yourself for thinking you love me?"

Kurt's breath hitches. "I don't  _ think  _ I love you."

Sebastian huffs out something between a laugh and a scoff. "I don't think you really love  _ me _ —the idea of me? Sure. You love what I can do for them. You love what I can do for you, and you may love the idea of me—but you don't love me, no. I don't think you do." 

Kurt blinks. Again. A third time. A deep breath, and then he buries his face into Sebastian's chest. "I love you," he says quietly. 

"Then why do you have to go?"

Kurt sits up suddenly. The calm is gone, replaced with fiery defiance. "You  _ know  _ why I have to go." 

"To him? You don't love him, either." Sebastian's tone is so calm, factual. Someone who doesn't know the difference may even say apathetic.

"I do—I love him," Kurt says, his voice rising.

Sebastian blinks. "Then why the hell are you here with me?" 

"I love you—"

"You think you love me."

"—and I hate myself for that." 

"And  _ why  _ is that?" Sebastian counters once again. Kurt throws his hands up in exasperation. 

"Why do you always ask that?" He pushes away from Sebastian, begins to pull his clothes back on.

Sebastian just watches, a little smile on his lips. "Why don't you ever answer the question?" He hands Kurt his shirt. 

"Because—Because—"

"Because you don't love anyone but yourself, and you hate yourself for even opening up to  _ attempting  _ to love me," Sebastian says. Kurt groans. 

"Why'd you have to take it there, Bas? Why couldn't we just enjoy it while it lasted?" Kurt yells. Sebastian inhales.

"You have to go, remember?" 

Kurt's neck snaps towards him. "You just said you didn't want me to go."

"I don't," Sebastian says. "But he's waiting."

"Sebastian–"

Sebastian waves a hand in the air. "Come back when you need me to fuck you into the mattress again. You seem to only come around when you need it anyway."

"Sebastian that's not fair."

"Neither is life—I'll be here."

Kurt kneels on the bed, kisses Sebastian lightly on the lips. "I know."

"You're fucked, you know that?" Sebastian murmurs, but kisses him back anyway. "You're so fucked up."

Kurt pulls away with one more chaste kiss to the lips. "I know."

"I love you," Sebastian says. 

"And why is that?" Kurt's at the door, now.

Sebastian laughs, lays back on his pillows. 

Sebastian waits until Kurt's gone to whisper "I don't fucking know." 

  
  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] And Why Is That?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29758134) by [backslashdelta_podfics (backslashdelta)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/backslashdelta/pseuds/backslashdelta_podfics)




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